Is your relationship cheat-proof?


Let me answer that for you: No, it isn't. There’s no monogamous relationship that’s 100% guaranteed safe from an affair. Sometimes feelings develop for other people. It's only natural. But it can be a signal that something is missing from your relationship or your life.

So, what do you do if you or your partner gets feelings for someone else? This answer is often the key to whether or not your relationship survives an affair or even a potential affair. We need a sense of safety in a relationship in order to thrive. With that safety comes honesty, trust, and respect. When we have feelings for someone else we immediately have a choice: Tell our partners or don't. What matters is how safe it feels to talk with our partners. 

How would you react if your partner told you they had feelings for someone else? Would you get angry? Would you break up with them? Would you forbid them from leaving the house? Or would you listen and acknowledge their feelings? Would you be honest about your feelings? Would you ask your partner if there's anything you can do to help your relationship? Would you discuss polyamory? Or suggest couples counseling?

There are so many possible outcomes when feelings arise for someone else. What we need to understand, however, is that only we are responsible for our actions. If you've made a clear, monogamous commitment to someone, I encourage you to stop before you act on any romantic feelings for someone else. "One thing led to another," is a lot harder to hear than, "I think I have feelings for someone else and I don't know what to do."

What are your experiences with infidelity?

Have you developed feelings for someone else while in a monogamous relationship? What did you do?

Have you ever been cheated on? Did you work it out? What do you wish your partner would have done?

Leave a comment below and tell me what happened.