Posts tagged good therapist
There’s nothing wrong with millennials, you’re just old.

Donatone goes on to talk about how millennials are labeled by other authors as narcissistic, opposes this view, and then goes on to label all millennial parents as helicopter parents. First, let’s get one thing straight: clearly, this woman is talking about rich and probably for the most part, white people: she’s a therapist at NYU. She’s referencing a small percentage of a generation. Perhaps the title of the article should be “Why NYU Students Can’t Grow Up”. Because as many of us know, poorer parents, even middle class ones, don’t have time to flutter around their child’s every move these days.

So what is helicopter parenting, you might ask? It’s that “overinvolved” parent who does everything from running the PTA, to practically doing their kid’s homework, to writing their college applications. The problem is that when someone does everything for you, it can lead to a lack of self-efficacy. Which makes sense: if no one trusts you to do anything for yourself, why would you trust yourself to do anything? Donatone cites a couple of articles about recent college grads who take their parents on job interviews. But even the Huffington Post article she mentions shows an understanding that the economy is shit, adding to the fear of “growing up”.

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Five ways to get your money's worth from your therapist

I know, therapy is expensive. Like I said: it's helpful to think of it as an investment. You're investing in your self or your relationship or your family. You're giving your life a tune-up. It all costs money. You're putting yourself in the hands of a professional in order to do so. Someone who has been educated and trained for, at the very least, 5 years if he or she is licensed. This person should know their stuff and that can be intimidating. BUT, it doesn't mean your therapist should be telling you what to do and it doesn't mean you can't trust your gut. In fact, your counselor should be encouraging you to trust and depend upon yourself. Here's a short  list of advice on getting your money's worth from therapy:

1. Ask questions, debate points, and give feedback Ask for what you need. If you don't understand something your therapist says, ask. If you disagree with something she says, say so. This doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to her, but when something feels inherently wrong, just way off from who you are, SAY SOMETHING. It doesn't help you at all to stay mute on the subjects that really rile you up. Again, your therapist is not your friend; she is providing you with a service. Having said that, however you must understand that you also have to...

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Congratulations, you've found your therapist! Now what?

It's the 1st session. You're nervous, asking yourself questions like "What will she be like? Will he think we're crazy? What have I gotten myself into?" If you've never been to a therapist before, it's like walking into a small room with a stranger who has agreed to take your money to provide you with a product you know little about. It can be weird and feel awkward. You're taking a big risk entrusting someone else with your problems, with your life. And kudos to you for your courage! I want to try to make it all a little less daunting, so here's a brief guide of what to expect when you walk into a therapist's office for the first time:

When you get there, you will be greeted with the usual pleasantries and a bit of small talk, but eventually you'll have to get serious. Your therapist will soon ask "what brings you here today?" You may have talked about it on the phone prior to your appointment, but some version of this question will be posed to bring the focus to exactly why you're paying to be there. Attempt to be as honest as you comfortably can be. It's natural to feel strange about telling someone you've never met your most hurtful problems. You don't have to say everything, just try to be truthful. This can be extremely difficult when you've come to therapy with a spouse and it's the therapist's responsibility to help you feel as safe as possible in his or her space. This is YOUR time. Use it wisely.

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